This ink is all I have
To sustain this holey vessel of mine;
Imparting subtlety to a sunrise
While making moon the victim of dead shrines.
Even Hope sprinted away
From my Pandora’s jar….
‘Guess my soul was worth Nada
In the deal with the devil, afterall.
I can preach peace
While waging a war
Between the shattered veins of my mind.
For in the end,
I’d be craving
For the Winter to rest in pieces
While forging my gratitude for its Demons
That made me feel alive.
I can fall in love
While ranting
About the abysmal fallacy of
‘Unconditional’ affection.
For, at the end of the day,
These wrinkles of mine
Are just laugh lines
Gone tired of playing pretend
With the sunshine.
I can show you my care
While living a psychopath’s picture perfect dream
In all my bloody fantasies.
For, following the curtain call,
Even familiar masks
Seem to have donned
The faux skin of a human.
There is no denying;
That this heart of mine
Is confined
Within the frozen walls,
Fabricated by my Demons;
It can beat,
Pretend to breathe,
Yet impelled to remain
An eternal prisoner
Behind these rails….
Just Forging weapons
Of smoke and mirrors.
I’m nothing more than a walking cadaver
Feeding on empty-emotioned drugs,
Thriving to lie in a sweet casket
That awaits my presence
In my pleasant graveyard
After a long, tired day
Of selling hollow excuses
On ‘The reasons to feel alive’.
I was taught
To be a Rag Doll
Controlled by the minds of
The rotten fleshes who knew nothing more
Than how to cheer or make somebody a laughingstock.
– JAISMINE K.
Hang in there. Stay on your meds. Life gets better.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol, I got no meds because nobody knows about it. I don’t wanna be an even bigger burden on my parents than I already am.
LikeLike
You’ll be less of a burden if you are healthy. I hope that you will get help.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely beautiful. A well detailed description of an inner conflict. You are not crazy, you are just experiencing life from your own point if view.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, mate.
Glad you liked it. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is way too relatable…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I won’t say, “glad you could relate it” because whoever could relate to this has got as a tangled life as me.
All I can tell you is you’ve got my empathy, mate.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right back atchya x
LikeLiked by 1 person
A sad and tearing rendering of the pain of being bipolar; hope you get better
LikeLiked by 1 person
I feel that being a bit different from, what people define as ‘normal’, doesn’t mean it is a ‘disease’. I believe that being a bipolar lends me tons of perspectives. It helps me see things through almost everybody’s eyes, hence making me understand their conditions.
I don’t mean to object you, but I guess being a bipolar is kind of a good thing, too, if not the worst. Although it does flails my ability to do even little things, and due to this ‘disease’, I’ve lost so many great friends from my life…….
But I’m so glad you empathize me. 😊
I, too, hope this Bipolarity doesn’t do any serious damage and doesn’t destroy my mind. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
One man’s curse is another’s blessing. Glad that you can turn your situation into inspiration
LikeLiked by 1 person